I felt like a failure, like my body was taking revenge on me for all those years of preventing pregnancy, for past sexual experiences, for being too old and that maybe I had blown my chance to become a mother.

I had lost a fallopian tube to an ectopic pregnancy in my early 30’s so I knew that when the time came, I was going to have a harder time conceiving. When my husband and I chose to “pull the goalie,” we spent 6 months trying on our own using at-home ovulation predictor tests as our guide. The ovulations predictors weren’t working for me, so I decided to give them up and start relying on my own understanding of my body and the signs it was giving me. For me, that proved to be a more accurate guide and we were pregnant soon after. That pregnancy ended quickly in miscarriage, as did the two that followed it. They were all early miscarriages (before heartbeat), but still profoundly painful.

I felt like a failure, like my body was taking revenge on me for all those years of preventing pregnancy, for past sexual experiences, for being too old and that maybe I had blown my chance to become a mother. It haunted me… until I found Patricia Mendell: a therapist who specializes in infertility, frequent miscarriages, adoption, donor eggs, surrogacy. After that, I got an appointment to see Dr. Owen Davis at Cornell. Determining that there was no reason for us not to have a successful pregnancy, he then directed us to Dr. Orli Etingin (also Cornell), who specializes in multiple miscarriages and clotting issues. At our consultation she said, “in 99% of women I find a reason why they are miscarrying and once I do it is 100% treatable.” My husband and I were ecstatic. We were instructed to rest, recuperate (I was pretty run down and anemic), enjoy having sex for fun (not get pregnant) and come back two months later (in July). After taking two months off and going through a huge battery of tests, I was finally diagnosed with Pregnancy Induced Thrombophilia. Just one month later, I was once again pregnant. Even while giving myself shots of heparin twice a day for nine months, I had the most beautiful, gratitude-filled pregnancy. Our son Nico was born on Mother’s Day (!!!!), May 2004.