His battle cry pierced the air as my miracle baby came roaring into this world. Through a tiny incision in my abdomen his little body came spouting out, jiggly and soft, like a little angel dough-boy. He was finally here! We had finally made it!
Twenty years prior to my son’s birth, I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure. Doctors explained that I “already went through menopause” as an adolescent, and my chances of conceiving were “roughly one percent”. I grappled as a teenager with what it meant to be a woman, when my body didn’t maintain sufficient estrogen levels and I required hormone therapy to get a period.
As a young woman, I obsessed over the realities of my condition. Conflicting opinions permeated through the medical community and my doctors couldn’t provide concrete answers as to what this condition meant for my future. Do I have any eggs? Could I use a donor egg? Could my body support a pregnancy?
Fertility struggles were painfully common in my family, and I assumed this was my reality. I hesitated getting close to a romantic partner, unsure of how to break the news that, if things got serious, I may not be able to bear him a child. So many nights I felt sorry for myself. I felt guilty for my self pity when my diagnosis wasn’t “life threatening” or “serious” by many societal standards.
Deep down, I knew I was going to be a mother. I persevered through moments of uncertainty, longing and sadness. I guarded against flashes of hope and joy, careful not to set myself up for disappointment.
I wasn’t a candidate for egg retrieval because of the unlikelihood of harvesting any eggs. Instead, my doctor recommended we “give hormone therapy a try” and see if the odds were in my favor for random ovulation. When we began, I got a CT scan that showed a follicle. I immediately began rounds of hormone therapy to try to get my body to ovulate. The meds made me nauseous and emotional but the CT scan hardened my resolve. There was a chance!
My journey has a happy ending. Thanks to the support of my husband, the love of my family, the wisdom of some awesome fertility doctors, and a whole lot of luck. I finally ovulated during one of those hormone therapy rounds, and got pregnant! I carried my beautiful baby boy to term. I truly believe, I am one of the lucky ones.