Why should we feel guilt or shame? If I share my story, then maybe, just maybe, one woman will feel like she isn’t going through this by herself.

My fertility journey began in the Fall of 2015. My husband and I had started trying, without “trying,” but when the spring of 2016 hit with no success, we started getting concerned. Over the next couple of months, we would see two different fertility doctors and go through a very painful miscarriage in May of 2016 that landed me in the hospital. We did three months of unsuccessful rounds of Clomid, 2 more months of Clomid with two IUIs (inseminations) and were told that the next step was IVF. At this point, the doctor had put us in the daunting category of “unexplained infertility” with a less than 3% chance of conceiving naturally. Fearful to commit to IVF (the drugs, shots, time and cost), we sought out an Eastern Medicine fertility acupuncturist who treated me with herbs, acupuncture and put me on an extremely limited diet for four months with no success. As of today, my husband and I are still actively trying to conceive and will begin IVF with our third fertility doctor later this summer.

This journey has changed me as a person. As a A-type personality who loves to be in control, it has been a process to learn how to let go. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that my life is not always going to go the way that I planned.

Having shared my experience a handful of close friends and family, I’ve come to realize just how many women have a story of their own, or know someone else who has gone through this. I’ve never publicly shared my infertility battle, but today I’m speaking up, and I am proud to do so. Why should we feel guilt or shame? If I share my story, then maybe, just maybe, one woman will feel like she isn’t going through this by herself.

I move forward with an open mind and such a hopeful heart, as I believe our miracle is still on its way.

We began the IVF process in August 2017, with my egg retrieval auspiciously falling on our wedding anniversary August 30th. We were lucky enough to get 4 healthy embryos to freeze! The next step was a hysteroscopy in September followed by our first embryo transfer on November 8. The progesterone shots for the transfer were the absolute worst, but worth it in the end! I also did acupuncture prior to the transfer and right after.

The waiting period after the transfer was the most nerve wracking! I nervously took an at-home pregnancy test on November 16th and saw a faint line indicating I was in fact pregnant. It was hard to get excited as I had seen that line so many times before, all which had sadly ended in miscarriages. The next day we went in for bloodwork that confirmed I was in fact VERY pregnant, with extremely high HCG numbers I had never had before!

Every day I was pregnant I was scared of the loss I had previously endured, but I remained positive and grateful each time we went in for an ultrasound and I saw my little miracle continue to grow into a healthy baby. The first trimester was rough between extreme nausea and constant fear of not seeing my embryo grow or hearing a heartbeat.

Luckily, our little girl grew into a healthy 6 lb 14 oz baby and I delivered Asena Caria Kovacoglu at Cedars Sinai hospital via emergency C-section at 40 weeks on July 26, 2018 at 3:37pm. There are no words to express the utter relief and expansive love my husband and I have for our little miracle baby. Every cry, every hour awake in the middle of the night, & every fussy moment is worth it when she looks at us and smiles because we worked so hard and waited so long for our precious gift.