I will protect you. And I will fight for you.
I will advocate for you. And always do my best for you.
No matter what.
Today I finally received confirmation of an opening for a (temporary, until this all passes) non-clinical nursing reassignment. After several emails, back and forth, paperwork, and persistent correspondence I finally felt a sense of relief.
After working on the front-lines for a month, while dealing with all the changes happening at home and being 7 months pregnant I realized that my mental health was deteriorating rapidly. My gut alarmed. “You’ve reached your boundaries”. So, I listened. My oxygen mask, before others.
Remember that crucial line when going through airplane safety?
As difficult as it was admitting to and ultimately making the decision to pull myself from the front-lines I knew it was the best decision for you, for me, for us, and for our family. There was no way I’d have any ounce of energy or sanity left to give birth and enter postpartum had I ignored my gut. And my baby, my family and my health matter first.
So I pray if there’s one pregnant nurse, or healthcare worker reading this that you don’t need permission to do what’s best for you, in this moment, right now, but if you do, consider this your nudge. No one knows you better than yourself and your boundaries today could be your strength tomorrow.
In some people’s eyes I will be the weak nurse that “copped out”, took the easy route, or didn’t fight for others. But I’m not being led by the opinion of people, who aren’t walking in my shoes. I’m here to be led by my knowing, listen to the call placed on my heart, and do what I think is best for my baby.
If I ever needed a crash course in Motherhood, and the difficult decisions it would bring, this past month just laid it out for me.