My husband Josh and I started trying to conceive back in 2007 and hit a wall in 2008 when I was diagnosed with PCOS. From there, our journey took us through several cycles of Clomid, Letrozole, IUI’s, 3 fresh egg retrievals, 9 transferred embryos, 2 FET’s, and 3 miscarriages. After being diagnosed with Factor V Leiden, we were able to adjust my protocol a bit and FINALLY, after 10 years of infertility, we welcomed our boy/girl twins this past May. I never thought I’d see the day, but knew in my heart that it was a fight to keep fighting.
The most difficult part of the journey for me was dealing with constant triggers, consistently wondering if we were ever going to be parents, and coping with the loneliness of feeling like the only person in the world without kids. Seeing families in Target shopping for Halloween costumes was like salt in an open wound. Watching my feed fill with first day of school pictures was heart wrenching. Overhearing a pregnant woman complaining about her swollen fingers was torturous. The aching of my heart was constant.
We went public with our journey in 2012, and I am so thankful we did. I felt passionate about helping to educate others on what it feels like to be 1 in 8, and then also 1 in 4 who suffer miscarriage(s). It invoked some incredible conversations and also, made me feel less alone as others who read my blog stepped out and said “me too.” If you are at a low point reading this today, let me encourage you to NOT TO GIVE UP HOPE. Everything can change in one day. One cycle. One more try. Miracles happen every day. And even when we feel like the miracles will never happen to us, they do.