No one expects infertility to be part of their story, and secondary infertility is a totally different mind f*ck. You have one gorgeous, healthy child so it feels greedy and selfish to be so consumed by the need to have another (especially when people struggle to have one).
I had three miscarriages in a year and a half, during the time my daughter was 6 months until 2. The first occurred on Christmas morning.. I went to the ER by myself because I didn’t want this event to anyway cloud my daughter’s first Christmas. The following two losses weren’t any easier.
While there wasn’t a medical explanation for the RPL (repeated pregnancy loss), after the third we were ready to turn it over to science and decided to jump straight to IVF. I didn’t have a problem getting pregnant, but I wanted to utilize my best eggs so I could stay pregnant. Thanks to fate or divine intervention, I got a positive pregnancy test the morning I was set to order my first round of IVF drugs.
Like all of my other pregnancies, I let myself get excited, plan, and told people way earlier than I should have. But I’m happy to report that sometimes things work out and sometimes you have to go through some serious $&@! before you get the happy ending. Baby Fox is turning 1 next month and I’m so thankful that we didn’t give up the fight on getting him here. People said that losses would make sense in time, and I believe they’re right. This is the baby I was supposed to have. I’m sending everyone else on this journey all my love, support and positive energy.